Employee O Da’ Month (EoDM for short) was supposedly born somewhere within the 3 dimensions of space and sometime within the 4th dimension of time, though this point is contended among the many (0-1) scholars pursuing an accurate account of EoDM’s life/death/inanimation. Regardless, what is maybe known as fact is that EoDM may or may not have been at the Great Sign of the Clouds, by which the Clouds revealed their importance in the [REDACTED] of secrecy.
EoDM oversees the Employee Department of the SCS under a strict rule of variation, whereby some amount of effort between 0% and 100% is garnered on a per task basis. This key factor of exertion is, of course, decided by a rigged magic 8 ball kept on hand at all times. EoDM has been known to tragically and maniacally deteriorate without said 8 ball, and thus many measures have been put in place to ensure its location is known at all times. The critical magic 8 ball’s origin before it was plucked off the shelf of DOoM is unknown. Rest assured that while EoDM may put in a variable amount of effort, the entirety of the Employee Department is ruthlessly put to work. When asked what kind of work those within the Employee Department perform, EoDM stared vacantly into some dimension of space for some dimension of time before promptly(?) responding with “Have you seen my magic 8-ball?”.
EoDM has described himself as Quasi-immortal and a Futurist. Remnants of his file have been discovered while sifting through the incinerator for information deemed worthy to prevail, which backs up his claim with heavily marred logs to the Mental Institute of the SCS and floggings dating back as far as some number containing either an 8 or a 6. Trusted proxy to the Chief Secret Keeper, [Y]n[a]r has also disclosed parts of EoDM’s Wednesday Journal into the public domain, revealing the results for the 2016 New Jersey Middlesex county governor election were, in fact, [][]accurately predicted 732 days [][][]er the election, thereby offering evidence in [][][][][][][] of EoDM’s Futurist claims.
While EoDM’s mental state, age, location of birth, and general plane of existence is unknown, one thing can be said for certain: [THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT HAS BEEN REDACTED BY ORDER OF “Chief of Security” FOR PURPOSES OF SECRECY AND (maybe) PUBLIC HEALTH. FURTHER REQUESTS REGARDING “EoDM’s” INFORMATION CAN BE SENT DIRECTLY TO THE S.H.R.E.D.R, AS PER ORDER OF “Chief Secret Keeper”. THANK YOU.]